The Secret Side of Empty- Part A

So far, I would not say this is my favorite book of the course. However, it is a quick and interesting read, and I am looking forward to finishing the story.

Immigration is something I am not overly familiar with. I would have said years ago that since we live in Montana it is not a big issue for us given our region. With more education and understanding of the issue, I know that is not true and immigrants are likely to move to Montana for many reasons.

M.T. has been very easy for me to connect with. I feel her pain as she struggles to know what her life will be like in ten years. I relate this to the previous books and conversations we have read. Why are some people born playing on third base and she has had to work her way out of the locker room. M.T. is facing huge struggles ahead of her. It breaks my heart that she cannot go to college as she values education and so many others her age do not. M.T. also draws a great connection to this unfairness with her reflection of Julissa's baby on page 50. "Who chooses who gets to be a linoleum floor eater and who gets to grow up on marble floors." This conversation rings true for so many of my students who got dealt the lower hand.

M.T.'s challenge to her teacher covers the issue at hand politically in my opinion (page 121). Those who do not approve of immigrants view them as less than, lazy, looking to live off the government. I think this is such a lie to cover one's judgmental hate for other humans. I do not know the answer to the immigration problem; however, I know that there are real people like M.T. who would benefit the world as a whole so much if they were able to learn, achieve, and work. Education is so powerful, and she is being held back from this opportunity due to a number and piece of paper! Maybe after the speaker and talking with the class I will know more of what I believe to be the solution because the solution is most definitely not a wall.

A few quotes I have jotted down so far:
"Just remember that when someones tells you that things aren't going to end well, that's because they want you to be afraid. Things always end well. Because they never end" (page 39)
"Mackenzie, passing math is real life" (page 61). You can bet I'll be using this one!

The Inexplicable Logic of my Life- Part B

Okay... so I am a liar. Well, kind of. I knew I wouldn't wait a week until the next class requirements to finish the book, but I said I didn't give myself the luxury to read it all in one day. However, after I posted Part A, I did a few things around the house that I felt required to do on a weekend. Then my husband started watching a movie. It was getting "late" on a Saturday night, so I knew I wasn't going to do anything else productive with work, school,  or the house, and I didn't want to watch his choice of movie. I left him to continue reading in the bedroom. "Just another fifty pages to get a little ahead," I kept telling myself.... I finished the book! I have not read a whole book in one day in so very long, if ever actually!

I have a favorite page in this book. And, I know that is a little odd. But, I knew to write the page number down because I was so adamant that this was my favorite page. Page 284. So, not even too close to the end of the book. It isn't just one line or one paragraph... the whole page is quote worthy. I wish we were in class right now so I could read it to you guys and probably cry a little! No one had ever told Fito that he deserved better. I hope that I have done this and continue to do it for my kids! Nobody ever cared enough about him to give him rules. This is my kids' lives. Then they come to my structured class and flourish. Administrators have said things like wow, I am so surprised (insert struggling student's name) is doing well. Students likes rules and expectations. And, in my class specifically, like Mr. V, I care about these kids and they know that. Side note, I am totally crushing on Mr. V...

So, I got my questions answered about Sal's biological mother and father. I love how it all came together! I liked the focus on nature versus nurture. This is powerful for so many teens! I want all my students to have a growth mindset and be like Sal. You can be anyone you want to be. You might have to work your tail off like Fito, or be cautious of your actions like Sal, but you have the power within. Does it stink that you were born in the locker room and not on 3rd base. Heck ya! I have had many similar conversations with kids, and I will be using this analogy next time!

Now I realize, the gay characters were never a main talking point for me when reflecting on this book. I agree with what Kari has said about it not being the whole story, and I definitely liked that aspect of it. I openly accept the LGBTQ community. There is so much others can learn from their struggles and fight, and I hope to see constant positive progression for our world in relations to LGBTQ.

The Inexplicable Logic of my Life- Part A

I had to fight with my mom to be able get the book back so I could read it! She has been watching my niece and nephew during the days at my house this week due to construction at my sister's house. She pulled this book out of my homework stash and insisted she finished it before giving it back! So, she approves as well!

This book is another page turner. I could have laid in bed all day and finished it, but I did not allow myself that luxury.  At first, I was so curious to find out how Sal got to be with his father that raised him. Now that we know that, I am curios to know how his mother passed and if he will find his biological father. This alone is enough to keep me reading.

There are two big ideas that I love about this book and are great for young readers to learn and connect with: emotions and words.

The author has done a fantastic job of expressing the many emotions that the characters are dealing with. I love, love, love (one more love for good measure...) that the dad, Mr. V, tells his son that it is okay to cry. This is so very powerful for young adults to hear. I think we have created a world where so many people think that emotions are bad. Why?! They are so natural and normal. However, we muffle them down and say things like boys shouldn't cry.

I also love how Sam is described by Sal at the very beginning. "She could be a storm. But she could be a soft candle lighting up a dark room." I love this description. I immediately texted it to a few friends. These are my people. People like Sam who are so alive! The emotion of these characters are so well created, and I see students easily identifying with them.

In addition to the author's use of emotions, I also love his use of the importance of words. This is another powerful life lesson. Words are crucial. One's choice in words is so important; however, so many humans do not see or understand this. This book has honestly caused for some serious self-reflection... I will not be waiting a week to finish the second half!

Alexander Hamilton- Graphic Novel

Before beginning the book, I knew I would dislike it. And, after forcing myself to read the whole thing, I can say that I do not have an interest in graphic novels. I think the history aspect added to my dislike, but I probably would not have liked the other option much more. Thinking about how I started the book with a poor outlook, then how I forced myself to chunk the pages in order to get through the book, and then I rewarded myself when complete with the "assigned" section, I feel like a struggling student. My students are not excited to read a book even before hearing what it is about. Maybe, if I would not have had such a poor outlook on the book beforehand, I would not have disliked it as much. This reminds me of the importance of finding books that students are interested in. If there is an assigned book that a class absolutely has to read, prereading activities to aid in interest and comprehension are crucial. They probably would have helped me connect with this text a bit.

I choose this book over the Poppies book because I thought I would be able to learn a bit about history. I have never been good with dates, people, events, etc. I know the big ideas of our history, but the rest has never really stuck. I think this book would be good for someone who knows this story line already. The book covered a lot of content in a short amount of time, I found myself google-ing events and such to get more information in order to move forward with the text. Even with doing this, my comprehension of this text was low. I doubt I would pass the AR reading quiz for this book! While I love the idea of using a graphic novel to teach history rather than a textbook, I do not think this is the book.

I have many students who choose to read graphic novels for their SSR book. I am happy to support them in whatever reading style they are interested in. However, they are not for me!

The Hate You Give- Part 2

This was an incredible book. I have already recommended it to many people!

Although I have never personally experienced many of the issues, I was able to deeply connect with the characters. Reading this has helped me to understand the Black Lives Movement in a deeper way. I think this book would be a great tool to use in the classroom as it would allow students who have not experienced racism to understand. On the other hand, this book also gives those who have experienced racism towards themselves to feel like they have a voice and support.

Starr and Maya bring up a powerful discussion point on page 252. When the two friends are discussing Hailey saying hurtful comments Starr reflects wondering, "That's the problem. We let people say stuff, and they say it so much that it becomes okay to them and normal for us." I see this happening often among teenagers at my school. They think that they can say racial comments for a plethora of reasons: they perceive it as a joke, celebrities do it, they are friends with a person of the race, they are a person of the race. It happens so much in the media and social networks that people think that it is okay to do. However, the comments are hurtful and inappropriate. Reading about Starr and Maya discovering that they need to use their voice to stand up against Hailey was powerful for me to read as an adult. It allowed me to reflect on my own perception of jokes. The use of this book in the classroom would allow students to do the same while focusing on the characters rather than themselves or friends.

In correlation with the previous discussion point, Starr makes a powerful decision on page 433 that would also be a great discussion tool in the classroom. Starr decides that she no longer needs Hailey in her life and it is time to separate from her. This is a crucial lesson for teens to learn; however, it is also one that many unfortunately do not learn. Young people need to know that it is okay to distance yourself from someone that is toxic to your happiness and wellbeing. Many people go through life thinking that they have to be friends with someone because of their history, but Starr shows us that it is okay to move on from a person. She is a wise young woman with the support of her mother.

Angie Thomas dedicated this book, "to every kid in Georgetown and in all "the Gardens" of the world: your voices matter, your dreams matter, your lives matter. Be rose that grows in the concrete." (Acknowledgements). I really loved this statement. It reminded me of the book, The Help, where the nanny tells the young girl, "You is kind, you is smart, you is important." Young people need to hear words of encouragement such as these examples. They need to know that at least one adult thinks that their dreams matter. So many students have an uphill battle, and I hope to help them be a rose that grows in the concrete.

Great book! I think we should have read this last since no other book will top it, but hopefully I am wrong about that! I am looking forward to Angie Thomas's next publication!

The Hate You Give

This book is a page turner! And, I do not often get overly invested in a book. I ended up spending my whole Sunday afternoon on the couch.... cleaning, exercise, shoveling, shopping, and cooking all got postponed!

In the past few years, I have definitely become much more aware of my white privilege and how that affects my life. This book really caused me to reflect on how I would never experience the issues and struggles Starr must face solely due to our different skin colors. I do not worry that an officer will shoot me when I get pulled over. Once, when I was in high school, my mom and I were driving to see my Aunt in Great Falls. My mom got pulled over for speeding. It was only a few above the speed limit and it was going down a hill. The officer said he was just checking since it was Fourth of July weekend and wanted us to stay safe. He let us go on our way. This was before my awareness of issues such as this and how my skin color affects interactions such as this. I was talking to my mom when we drove off about it and she said something to the affect of, we had a nice car, we were buckled up, the dog was in a kennel, etc. I never really got her point at the time. Now, I realize that she is aware that the interaction could have gone much different for someone else.

Starr has the blessing of a caring and supportive family. My favorite quote of the whole book so far is in reference to Momma's feelings for Seven. "When he is around none of that matters. She loves him more than she hates Iesha." (Page 131) Wow! If all adults could put their feelings and drama aside, children would be so much better off. Instead, we so often see our students being used as pawns in a game between parents and other family members. It is heart breaking! Momma's attitude toward Seven is my favorite part of this book. How easily she could hate this child and let it tear him and his father a part. Rather, he is a member of the family and never thought of as different. He has the same moral expectations. I hope Seven can go on to be successful and help the movement.

When Starr and Chris get into their argument and Starr says, "You're white, I'm black. You're rich, I'm not." I found myself thinking of the TV show FRIENDS. There is an episode where Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe have an issue with the other three because they always want to go spend money. The others don't think it is a big deal. However, to the poor ones it is a big deal. Sometimes I feel this way with my family. They always want to go celebrate or do activities and it really kills my bank account! However, they just brush off my concerns because to them money is not a concern. This is as close as my white privilege self can understand what Starr is going through. To her, the race and financial topics are a huge concern. Rather than addressing them, Chris brushes them off like they do not matter. This does not fix the problem. Rather, it makes Starr feel like there is more of a rift between them.

Daddy brings up schools on page 169 saying that, "the schools in our neighborhoods don't prepare us well enough." This caused me cry a bit (not the first time for this book either!). I was just complaining to a fellow teacher I feel like I am failing my students. I get so worried for them to graduate and leave our building. This is also not an exciting time for my students. They do not have plans for college or careers like my friends and I did. They do not have a condo that their parents own to live in like we had. Heck, their parents probably will kick them out of the home soon. They need so much more support. I just do not know how to do more!

I can't wait to read the second half, but I forced myself to stop since I already had so much to talk about for this book. Also, I would have stayed up half the night to finish is and really off set my week!

Highway of Tears

Watching the Highway of Tears documentary was pretty tough for me. I had never heard the statistic of native women being harmed or going missing compared to white women. I have definitely realized how much White Privilege I hold in the last few years. I grew up with educated parents and an in tack family unit. After my recent years working in the SPED school system, I came to know how lucky I am to have had such a stable upbringing.

One key aspect that resonated with me after reflecting on the documentary is how the media and police officials broadcast the women as worthless. They say they were alcoholics, homeless, or got around too much. Given our society's current climate, the public is then more likely say the women deserved it, or it was their fault. This is insane! Why would anyone ever think that treating another human so poorly is deserved regardless the circumstance. I have left establishments after a few too many drinks in my younger years, and thankfully had good friends and family to get me home safely. If something would have happened to me one of those nights, would that be how the media portrayed me? Probably not given my skin color and economic background. But, really what is the difference?

The hardest part of watching the film for me was thinking about my niece as one of these young girls. She has her father's last name, which is a traditional native american name. Also, she "looks native." She will have so many different experiences than I did given these factors. If something tragic such as what is happening on the Highway of Tears happened to her, I would be at a loss. And, to think this could happen just because of her skin color or name. I was thinking, would the media portray her as deserving it, or would the police and media come together to support the family and find her just because some of her family is white, well educated, and economically stable.

These women are someone's niece. They all deserve to be fought for and protected. The response from the police and media is disgusting. Why do we accept that some people deserve horrible outcomes or unequal treatment than others? However, we see it all the time.

My co teacher and I recently read SPEAK with our English students. We teach mostly boys, with only a few girls throughout the day. Our para asked us why we choose that book as she thought is was intended for a female audience. I feel very strongly that we need to teach our boys the appropriate way to treat women and the affects their behavior has on a women's development. No one deserves to be hurt, stolen or murdered no matter their appearance.

After class, I met my husband for dinner. He texted me that parking was horrible and to go park by his vehicle in the parking garage. However, he was already at the table. I found his truck and parked beside him, so we would be together on the way out. I was so nervous to walk alone to the restaurant, especially from the parking garage. I would have been nervous regardless, but was extra on edge after the movie. I texted him that I was leaving my car and pretty much ran to the street. I walked closely behind some men until I got to the restaurant. However, I was thinking, "Why do I think these men will protect me and not be the ones to hurt me? Is it because they are older white males? Would I be this comfortable if they were a different skin tone? Or would I be nervous to be close to them and looking for someone else to be near? They seem comfortable that I am near them. Would they be this comfortable if I was a different skin tone?" These are all things my husband did not have to worry about when walking to the restaurant due to our difference in gender.